I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
