omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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