just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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