Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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