so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
