have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize