The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
