He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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