We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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