It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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