textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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