Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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