I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have demons in me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My ass is underappreciated
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
