This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
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He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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