Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
