So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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