His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
