She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
