i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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