i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
