oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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