i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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