I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
COCAINE IS GR8
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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