Non-Jews are for practice
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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