didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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