Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
