did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize