so explain again why im purple
no
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
