The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
