She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize