I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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