the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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