sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
