Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (732) Bad night (1444)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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  (647): fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack http://tfl.nu/ix39
  Replies (21) Good night (1149) Bad night (662)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

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  (920): where does the pee come out of this thing http://tfl.nu/pebd
  Replies (13) Good night (785) Bad night (4663)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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  (401): We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this." http://tfl.nu/1p18
  Replies (15) Good night (4093) Bad night (4960)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.

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  (902): I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/vppz
  Replies (13) Good night (5977) Bad night (1062)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.

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  (815): So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ln4p
  Replies (3) Good night (1984) Bad night (765)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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  (636): Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time. http://tfl.nu/mfto
  Replies (6) Good night (2411) Bad night (1361)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.

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  (204): Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day. http://tfl.nu/31tb
  Replies (24) Good night (4054) Bad night (1147)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.

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  (407): I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by. http://tfl.nu/944n
  Replies (10) Good night (576) Bad night (1346)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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  (406): just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution http://tfl.nu/z6cd
  Replies (10) Good night (1234) Bad night (876)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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  (479): I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/32cb
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (573)
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  (310): View more from California

  He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.

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  (310): He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom. http://tfl.nu/v9mc
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (463)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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  (360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (518)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards

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  (612): Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards http://tfl.nu/mq0j
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (344)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Booty calls should never involve the cops.

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  (936): Booty calls should never involve the cops. http://tfl.nu/8hes
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (430)

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