You're my little dorito
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!