mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship