i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
