Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask