oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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