my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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