We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
