Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
