Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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