i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
