its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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