YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
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The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Text me some of your sweat
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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