it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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