I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i believe in u and ur pee
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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