I wish I only lived at night.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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