Just mADE A PArabola og urine
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
