My first STD was from a foam party
no, he came in my armpit
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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