i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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