Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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