look no pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
