wat bout pragnant strippers??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
