Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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