my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
