Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant