DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
drinking out of a sandbucket again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.