last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!