You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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