Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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