Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
